JOT 4
She ran. She ran as fast as she could, hearing the soles of her shoes smack on the black pavement. Her breath quickened as she forced herself to keep moving, her lips drying. Suddenly, she fell to the ground, her face smashing into the dirt below her and getting in between her parted lips. She had missed the step up into the grassy park across the street and was now lying on the ground, exhausted. She lifted her head and looked behind her. He was still chasing, screaming her name. She pulled herself to her feet, grabbing the bark of a tree next to her to lean on, her body throbbing, bark digging into her nails. She felt it should have been dark and raining; it was more appropriate for the situation. But instead, as she ran, the bright sun beat down on her back. She kept running. He was gaining.
Andi tapped her newly glossed nails on her jeans, drumming then quietly. She stopped and looked at the color she’d chosen. Her mother would be upset about the black, but Andi would be sure to take it off before visiting her childhood home again. She liked how it looked. Black nails didn’t necessarily mean gothic anymore. Now it was more of an edgy, maybe even slightly rebellious. Her mother would never understand, but Andi liked to pretend her grandmother did.
Nan sat across from Andi in the stuffy parlor, clicking her knitting needles together. Andi had once tried to learn how to knit from her grandmother. She had been about sixteen and quickly lost interest in the monotonous task Nan had seemed to enjoy so much. Now, as Andi watched her, she wished she had tried harder to learn. It would have made Nan so happy to pass on her love to her only granddaughter. Now, it was too late.
A slightly graying woman in white scrubs entered the room. She was smiling brightly, but Andi could see her teeth were yellowed and crooked. She looked pleasant enough, though. The woman turned to Andi. “Miss Ellsworth?”
“Yes,” Andi answered as she stood and shook hands with the woman.
“And Mrs. Baynard?” she said turning to Nan.
Andi answered for her grandmother. “Yes.”
“It is a pleasure to meet both of you. Thank you for coming. Would you like to follow me to my office where we can talk?”
“That would be great.” Andi walked over to her Nan’s chair and grabbed her arm. “Come on, Nan. We are going for a walk.” Nan stood but kept knitting. “I’ll hold this.” She took her needles and stuffed them into her purse. Nan frowned but followed Andi and their guide to the office.
The office was small, not nearly as extravagant as the parlor had been, with its intricate wallpaper and delicate lace curtains. The office’s walls were white and bare. A single desk was situated in front of the window, casting an eerie glow on the woman as she sat in the folding chair that had been pushed into the desk. Andi could hardly see her face anymore as it was completely hidden in shadow. There was one filing cabinet in the corner and two folding chairs on the opposite side of the desk. The woman motioned to them and Andi helped Nan into one and then took the other.
The woman opened a manila folder that had been on her desk and scanned its contents for a few moments. They all sat in silence. “So, Miss Andrea Ellsworth—“
Andi cut her off. “Andi.”
She looked up and then back down. “Miss Andi Ellsworth, Mrs. Gloria Baynard is your grandmother?”
“That is correct.”
“Does she not have any closer relatives?”
“My mother is her daughter. She was unable to find time to look at places, so she asked me to.”
The woman studied Andi for a moment. “If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you?”
Andi pushed her brunette hair out of her eyes, bristling. “I am twenty-three.”
“Ah. Just making sure.” The woman read the files in the folder a bit more and then continued. “What kind of place were you hoping to place your grandmother in?”
Andi looked over at Nan sitting quietly and smiling. She hated that she had to do this. “She’s not a danger to anyone. She’s not crazy. She just can’t take care of herself. I need to find her a place where she can be loved and treated with respect. Not just given food and a place to sleep. Do you know what I mean? She’s not an animal. She’s my grandma. If I could I would take care of her myself, but it wouldn’t work out.”
The woman smiled sweetly and Andi tried not to look at her teeth. “You must love your grandmother very much.”
“Of course I do,” Andi quickly responded. What a stupid thing to say.
The woman blinked and cleared her throat. “Yes. Well, I am sure we can provide all that you’re looking for here at Clear Springs. What is the nature of her…disability?”
Andi hated these interviews, talking about her grandma like this with her sitting right there next to her. She wished she didn’t have to do this. “She hasn’t spoken in over a year. We don’t know if she can even understand what we are saying, or if she knows what is going on around her. It’s almost as if she is a toddler that hasn’t quite learned to communicate. But just give her some yarn and a knitting needle and she is happy.”
The woman jotted down a few notes in the folder, still smiling. “Does she have any serious medical conditions? For example, can she walk, eat? Does she have any diseases we should know about or something that would require medication?”
“Yes, she can walk. She has to be fed her food. She was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago and she has arthritis in her hands. I think that is all.”
“Can she use the restroom herself?”
“If someone takes her there, yes.”
“Wonderful.” More notes. “That is all the questions I have for you. Would you like a tour of the facilities?”
They walked slowly down the hallways, Andi clinging to Nan’s arm. The halls were just as white and barren as the office. It seemed the only effort they made was in the parlor, the first room any prospective clients saw. The woman pointed into each room and described their use. They were all white and barren. Andi wished there was a bit more color, but she had to admit Clear Springs was the nicest place she had seen. True, the only color she saw was white but at least she saw no dirt or mold in the corners like she had in others.
“Here is the kitchen, and this is the music room where we allow our patients to make as much noise as they want. The second wing is where all the patients are kept. Here is the art room and the medication room…” Andi stopped listening. They were all the same. She still felt like she was deserting her grandmother, just dumping her off in some whitewashed prison to rot in for the rest of her days. But there was nothing else she could do. She had no options.
“So, what do you think?”
“Oh. It’s…nice.” Andi said.
“Do you have any questions?”
“Yes, I do have a few.”
The woman whipped out a brochure and handed it to Andi. “All your questions will be answered in here. If, by chance, they aren’t there is a phone number on the back or feel free to come back and ask your questions. We would love to have your grandmother with us.”
Andi glanced at the picture on the front of the brochure. A little old lady was on the front, smiling and knitting. Ironic, she thought, chuckling to herself. “Alright. I’ll get back to you on my decision.”
“Thank you so much for coming in.” The woman led Andi and Nan to the front door and waved as they stepped outside, the bright sun beating on their backs.
No comments:
Post a Comment